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How to Tell a Lover You Have a Problem with Drugs

Across the world, more and more people are suffering from drug addiction. In the USA, you only have to watch the news to see the huge problem with fentanyl, while across the UK, cocaine is becoming incredibly problematic, particularly across a younger generation.

People fall into drug addiction for a wealth of different reasons, whether it be coping with trauma, dealing with stress, or the likes of peer pressure, all of which have been heightened in recent years. To the point where many of us are now living with drug problems.

Help is of course needed in such instances, but it can be a difficult challenge to face such difficulties head on. After all, we’re also a nation of people who like to keep things bottled up. Reaching out to your partner is often the first port of call, but it’s not easy. Which is why so many people leave it until it’s too late.

So, how do you tell a partner you’re struggling with drugs?

Choose the Right Time and Place

Firstly, you need to make sure the timing is right. Getting the time and place right is instrumental in ensuring you get your message across properly and you receive the best possible chance of support. You need to opt for a private setting where you won’t be interrupted, while you need to catch your partner at a time when they aren’t going to be stressed or preoccupied with other things. Ultimately, you want a safe space to speak openly and honestly.

Be Honest and Direct

Preparing for the conversation is important as you need to be clear and direct about the problem you face. Honesty is such an important part of this conversation, so avoid downplaying it.

Be frank with what you have to say and get your message across clearly. It’s the single most important thing to do so your partner understands the extremity of the situation.

Express Your Feelings

Discuss how drugs have been affecting you physically, mentally and emotionally. This will help your partner understand the situation more clearly and the impact it is having on your life. Acknowledge feelings of shame or fear, or perhaps even guilt that you have and this vulnerability can help create empathy and a deeper connection between the two of you.

Take Responsibility

A big part of any addiction treatment and recovery is accountability, and that begins from the moment you recognize and share the problem. Accountability is so important so acknowledge that you take full responsibility for your actions and avoid pointing the blame anywhere else.

This helps show a maturity and a genuine desire to seek change and get your life, and indeed relationship, back on track.

Explain Your Plan for Recovery

By demonstrating that you’ve looked into and are committed to overcoming the problem, you can show how serious you are about the situation. This can be hugely reassuring to a partner and by outlining the steps you wish to make to get help and recover, they are much more likely to be on your side and help you on that journey.

Invite Their Support, But Don’t Pressure Them

Of course, what you really want, need, and hope for is their support. It’s important that they may need a little time to get to this point so invite their support but don’t heap pressure on them to provide it.

Your partner loves and cares for you, and they will support you when they’re ready, they may just need a little time and space first.

Prepare for a Range of Reactions

It is going to be a lot for your partner to process, so be prepared for a range of reactions. They could well feel shocked, angry, sad. They could push you away or be immediately supportive. Be prepared for all eventualities and remember that actually, the conversation is as much about them processing the news as it is about you sharing it.

Offer Resources and Information

Your partner may know very little about drugs and the battles addiction can put people through, so as well as discussing your options for support, provide them with various resources to help them understand your situation better.

There are so many online resources out there these days, if you’ve already reached out to a treatment center, counselors can often be on hand to guide partners through it too and discuss the problems and solutions, helping demystify the whole situation and put your partner in the best possible place to support.

Seek Professional Guidance Together

If you get to a stage where your partner is willing to help and support your journey to sobriety, consider going through professional help together. Couples therapy can be a safe space to navigate addiction and how it has affected a relationship. This can not only help with getting sober but also patch up cracks in a relationship that may have been caused by drug addiction.

Reaffirm Your Commitment to the Relationship

End the conversation by reaffirming your commitment to your relationship. Express your desire to work through this together and your hope for a stronger, more honest partnership. This can provide a sense of reassurance amidst the uncertainty.

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